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Fish Pond

watch them swimming 'round and 'round

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August 7th, 2011

(no subject)


"And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anaïs Nin

March 28th, 2010

(no subject)

"The biggest predictor of obesity is income level" -Michael Pollan

(no subject)

Shortbus Sound track

March 26th, 2010

Food and Eating

I love food. I love good food and bad food. Raw almonds, sea weed, sesame oil, hostess cupcakes, tuna, salmon, wild rice, potato chips, flax seed, french fries, dates, figs, wine, beer, carrots grown organically. I am fat. I was made to believe that my love of food + fattness made me a bad person. I had an epiphany the other night. It is the other way around. The way people feel about the food I eat has more to do with my ingestion than actual nutritional need. Fuck you all that watch what goes in my mouth because you remember the cookies not the carrots, fuck you food companies that make it cheaper for me to eat processed white bread than whole wheat tortillas, and fuck you iceberg lettuce when field greens are 4x more expensive. Shove it. I decided to eat what I want, what my body wants, when it wants it.

March 18th, 2010

Whine whine

I listen. All day long I listen. I have a hard time doing the talking. I need to be prodded and gently shook and then if you expect me to talk about whats bothering me you actually have to listen.

March 16th, 2010

I tried to register as a bone marrow donor and I am too fat. Apparently I need to lose 35 pounds in order to be "healthy" enough to even register as a donor.

March 14th, 2010

Old Friends

New friends are nice and can quickly worm their way in to your heart but there is something special about old friends. I was either 9 or 10 when we moved out of the city and into the county. I met Kristen and she was the first person my age that I connected with and we fast became friends. We lived only a few doors down from one another so most of my free time was spent with her and a few others that I still have fond memories for. One of the unique things about out motley group was that we lived within walking distance of one another but we didn't go to school together. Kristen and I were in the same district but different grades so we weren't always in the same building, Shannon went to Catholic school, and Danny was in special ed at another school. We fought amongst ourselves at times and as little kids can be we were ruthless in our attempts to be the one insulting not the insulted. This being what it is I still did most of my growing up with this crew and Kristen stuck around even longer. The point of all this is that I got to see Kristen again this weekend after not seeing each other for 10 plus years. It was so good to see her. I can't think of anyone not related who has spent so much of my life with me. She lives in NYC so she feels so inaccessible. Good friends are not always easy. I think this one it worth hanging on to.

March 13th, 2010


My fathers mother died about 3 years ago. The woman who was eulogized was not the woman I ever knew. She was not friendly while teaching me cross stitch, I saw her once a year, and she told me I was going to hell because Jesus Christ was not my lord and savior. She also let me know that most of my friends were going to hell too. The rest of my family does not seem to know the woman I knew and that makes me happy for them. Hopefully they could at least have what I never had. I posted some pictures on Facebook and my cousin thanked me grandmother for teaching her about God. It was interesting to me that the thing she was thankful for drove the wedge in my relationship.

March 12th, 2010

TIWTDBID addition

I have an addition to my "Things I want to do before I die" list. And I am pretty sure I want to go nude camping. Now I have no problem being naked in my own house and I actually like wearing clothing an awful lot, however, I find the nude recreation culture fascinating and I think it would be a very interesting experience. I will not go alone so I think the hardest part will be convincing someone to go with me. That is someone who wont mind seeing me naked.
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